Saturday, January 1, 2011

Strain and Night Shift

Happy New Year everybody. I had to work last night, and will the next three nights. Not much in the way of getting to party. K and I were able to spend the evening together, December 30th, and the day, December 31st. After some good loving yesterday afternoon, I dozed off for a little nap before going to work. Now, I will most likely be spending the days sleeping at my house and seeing little of K. When I left for work, I was unlocked, simply because time and hygiene did not allow otherwise. K instructed me to lock myself at my earliest opportunity. I did so last night, hmmmmm…., around 7:30 I think. So now, I remain locked, and will obviously be so as long as K and I are apart. My current CD in use is Hairclip.

K and I have been having a little readjustment. I have been shown a sensitivity of hers and come to realize that we both need to change some of our conduct and discussions. This is no problem to do. However, it was a very difficult conversation, with both of our feelings being hurt. We are recovering from it and there is still strong love and commitment on both parts. Because of the difficulty of the discussions and working toward resolution, it has left us both somewhat blue. So now, we are in a difficult place. We will spend much time apart, from yesterday afternoon until maybe sometime Tuesday, when I will come off of the night shift. We are both hurting. We can't see much of each other because of our schedules. Part of me thinks that might be good, to allow us to have time alone to resolve things in our own hearts. Another part of me says that we need to see each other to affect reconciliation more easily. Either way, it is difficult.

I miss K. We both feel the distance in our hearts. We both hurt from it. We both long to close that distance and be at peace and oneness with each other again. We are not mad at each other. We have simply not yet found that reunion of hearts we both desire. And… I am stuck on night shift.


I need my sweetheart. I need her breasts to comfort me. I need to nurse in her arms. It is her touch that reaches my heart. Words are good: they help, but it is her touch that goes deep into me and lets me feel her love. That is especially true of nursing at her breasts, and when she lovingly caresses her dick. Strangely enough, another thing that makes me feel her desire for me is when she grips and holds my balls firmly, especially when she holds them between her knees while nursing. She will hold them there, squeezing them, causing loving pain (yes, that's a paradox), and it helps endear my heart to her. Another thing that connects me to her is being locked up for her. And I am. Her dick is under lock and key right now. I feel that connection. It is a nice help.

It'll all be okay. We've experienced strain before. However, we never question each other's love. Commitment and love remain strong and secure.

Yes, it WILL be okay.

Actually, it already is.

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