Monday, February 28, 2011

Hurting, Couldn't Sleep, and Healing Again

Having started this post in the previous one, getting off on another track, and feeling that what was said in it should be captured in it's own post, I left off there with indeed capturing the relevance to our Thursday Night action. Now, I can continue.

Friday night, we were busy. We live in the deep south. Here, the area celebrates Mardi Gras exquisitely, yet not quite in the style of New Orleans. K and I had tickets to a Mardi Gras ball and attended it until 1:30am. Early in the ball, formalities were being done, while non-Mardi-Gras-association-attendees are required to remain off of the main floor for the association's festivities. K and I sat together in the box seats waiting for Tableau to complete. While we were there I was feeling very Twitterpated. I told K some things about spanking that I wanted her to know. I told her how it meant very much to me and that it made me feel very close to her emotionally. I wanted her to spank me more, whenever she wanted to, without reservation, as hard or as soft as she wanted, as long as she wanted, with total trust between us for EACH other. I surrendered all reserve to her, for her to use her own judgement, and unless it came to a point of undeniable ability for me to take any more, I would not complain nor try to instruct her in proper ways to apply her spanking finesse. And again, if I could feel the results the next day, or more, it would be wonderful. She took it all in, smiling. She asked if I was sure about that. Was I sure I really wanted what I said I wanted? I smiled and said yes, I want it all, and I want to give you all control, trusting you to use your judgement.

How Sweet It Is!

We spent the night at the ball, dancing, drinking, and dining, having a good time. We arrived home at about 2:00am, showered, and cuddled up. K wanted me to hold her. I wrapped my arms around her, spooning. In a few minutes she rolled over, laying her head on my chest and quickly went to sleep. Unnnnnnh!!! I felt left out. I felt distanced and ignored. It seriously hurt my feelings. Why? K always nurses me to sleep. I almost always am held in her arms, to her breasts and "suckle" as we will both drift into comfortable sleep together. Yes, I know she was tired. Yes, she does sometimes do it this way, cuddling up with her head on my chest, going to sleep. This was a little different to me though. It FELT like I was being left in the cold. Was it real? No, but it felt that way. Then to top it off, I could not sleep. Now it was 2:30, K is sleeping soundly, and I am wide awake. I then realize that my heart rate is accelerated, even though I am doing nothing but laying there. This is a very common thing to happen when I have had MSG in something I have eaten. Evidently some of the food at the ball had been seasoned heavily with MSG! My heart was beating hard and fast. I could not sleep. I was feeling lonely and forgotten. It was feelings that were actually conjured from my first marriage when I really WAS neglected.

After laying there for nearly three hours, tossing, turning, surfing the net on my cell phone, trying to sleep, miserable, I did finally start to drift off to sleep. K was still sound asleep. She was sleeping hard. She was actually snoring some; sometimes letting out louder snores. As I drifted off, she let out a loud one. Boing! Wide awake again. Drifting off again. SNORE! BOING!!! Wide awake again. You get the picture. I finally got up, emotionally hurting, miserable, tired, and went to the living room. I curled up on the couch, covered up with a throw, and pouted to sleep. I had NEVER done this before with K.

Pitiful Huh!?!???? (laughing about this now)

I slept there a couple of hours when K came and woke me up, asking why I was on the couch. I told her I couldn't sleep, that MSG had gotten me again. She took me back to bed and we cuddled up there. My wonderfully perceptive K could tell there was something wrong though. She asked. I then told her that I was hurt, feeling ignored and forgotten, and lonely, explaining the mental connections to a hurtful past. K also told me that her arthritis had been hurting her, so when we had arrived home from the ball, she had taken some prescription medicine for it which also contained some narcotic pain relief. I understood this as she explained it, realizing that it had caused her to go to sleep more quickly and soundly than usual. We discussed it all well, in a short amount of time. She understood my emotional state too. She got it. She took me and comforted me as I broke down and cried in her arms. Yeah, as big and tough (250 pounds 6'1" of "all man") and hard as I can be, I am a tenderhearted baby on the inside. K knows this and knew how to take care of me.

She took me and held me close, holding me to her breasts. This is the best place to comfort me. K is well aware of the power she has in her breasts to melt my heart, to make me feel better, to make me feel loved, to make my world all better. She took her breast and put her nipple in my mouth and I nursed there, taking in her love as she talked sweetly to me, caressing me, loving me, holding me, pouring out her care. After a little while of this, having adequately comforted my heart, I warmed up to her even more. Then things heated up!

Nursing ALWAYS turns K on. She got wet. She got horny. Well, okay, I did too. I got hard. I got drippy. We were getting quite excited. Then wonderful things happened. K pulled me on top of her. I kissed her mouth and a special place on her neck that she loves. That place on her neck really gets her going. Soon, she was pushing me down. Down I went. I ate her pussy, loving every drop of wetness. She tasted so good. She smelled wonderful. I was totally eating this up (pun intended!). She came, and came good! Pulling me up, I entered her and began to stroke in and out, deeper and deeper. She then wanted me to enter her pussy from behind and we moved to THE position, with her on her hands and knees. Oh YES!!! That went very well for me! I came and we collapsed side by side in bed. After a little clean-up, (sorry folks, it was with a wash cloth) we cuddled up again, and while nursing, we went back to sleep. We woke up at about 11:30, all in all getting a decent amount of rest. Life was good again.

This is how it is with K and I. We don't go very long with hurt between us. Healing wounds between us is important. Our love is too special to tolerate anything of that sort. We really are one of those soulmate relationships!

Well, it doesn't look like I'm going to get to the Saturday night story in this post either. Okay, I promise, the next post will be ALL about Saturday Night!

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